Scary Mommy, Tom Hustoles/Burst and Wikipedia Commons
I quit smoking. I quit drinking. I even quit exercising. (Maybe I should pick that one back up.) But so help me God, Im not giving up my Diet Coke. And I dont give one shit about what you think.
Understand, I am not a diet soda addict. If a restaurant serves Pepsi, Im out. Id rather choke down a glass of flavorless, non carbonated, lifeless water before Id swish that nasty stuff in my mouth. I dont care to try your ultra-caffeinated Mountain Dew and dont dare offer me a Coke Zero because, It all tastes the same. Ummmmm, no. No thank you, it sure doesnt.
Every morning I get my kids up for school and head straight to the fridge. I grab my first can. Its cold, its refreshing and it centers me. I take my vitamins, serve up some Pop Tarts and Im on my way out the door. By the time we get to school, Im 12 ounces in and feeling great. Depending upon whether I remembered my purse or not, I may hit the McDonalds drive thru for 32 ounces of fun. Did you know McDonalds uses a special water filtration system and to pump just the right amount of carbonation into their D.C.? Well, it does. Youre welcome! Thats why its at the top of my list for a fresh one. I do miss the styrofoam cups, but I guess the environment wins.
Ill work on that one for a while. I enjoy it. I savor it. Those bubbles burst in my mouth like champagne, but that sweet taste is so much better. My husband tells me its bad for my kidneys and other things I ignore. He drinks coffee all day. That cant be much better. Plus, its all hot and my flashing self needs no more heat in my life! And, lets not forget that Im constantly looking for the sales and saving us money. Target hooks me up with 3/$12.00 on the reg. How much are you blowing on those K-Cups, pal?
And now I will rank my Diet Coke experiences. First and foremost, give me a fountain. There is nothing quite like it. I could probably live off those alone. Next, ice cold can. All day long I can pop them and never get bored. Individual bottle is next in line. They just fizz out too quickly. I mean, if its all youve got Ill take it, but its definitely not my fav. Then youve got the 2 liter. Thats my absolute last choice. Especially if its been sitting a while. It loses all of its carb and is just flat. But again, if Ive gotta gag it down, I will.
All of these people I know drink water. And they think that I should too. One, its gross. Two, it tastes like nothing. Three, I have to pee soooo much when I drink it. I have four kids, I dont have time for all that peeing. Give me the dehydration from the aspartame any day. Plus, Diet Coke is delicious!
You call me an addict. I prefer connoisseur, knowledgeable, an expert if you will. There was a time when I was addicted to Salem Slim Lights and Budweiser. Perhaps its my personality. But Ill be damned if I have to give up every vice in my life. Plus, if youre not truly passionate about something, I think it makes you boring.
You may disagree with my choices. You may think youre all healthy and stuff and one day Ill regret my D.C.s. Well guess what? Youre the one whos missing out. Youre the one whos no fun and all judgy with your coconut La Croix. Im living the high life. Im happy. I know whats best for me. Mind your business. And like they said back in the 80s, Im in it, Just for the taste of it! Diet Coke.
P.S. Your La Croix tastes like shit.
See the article here:
Give Me A Diet Coke And Mind Your Business - Scary Mommy
