I dont put much stock in New Year resolutions. In my experience, New Year resolutions are simply a way to put off things for another year, only to let them go by the wayside after a week or two of half-hearted attempts to change ones life.
Case in point, each January starts off with teaming masses at the gym. I walk in for my workout to find scores of new faces. They are pumping iron and fast-walking on the treadmills, working up a sweat with the eye of the tiger. They have their AirPods in their ears and are sporting the newest Nike workout wear. They are in it for the long haul.
Flash forward to February. Its back to the regulars. The New Year resolutioners are nowhere to be found. Why is that? Well, there are two reasons really. First, as I eluded to above, resolutions are generally people putting off to the next year what needs to be done today. New Years resolutions are a procrastinators candy, allowing them to cling to lofty dreams until those dreams are again shattered days or weeks into the new year. The second reason for the failure, in the case of fitness, is that working out hurts when youre new to it. Things get sore. Making it doubly bad is people who have neglected fitness for years try to get it all back in a few days so they tend to overdo it right off the bat.
Well listen to you, all high and mighty Duane Sherrill and your gym memberships and fancy running shoes, I can hear you snarling. I suppose youve never failed at a New Years resolution.
Actually, I speak from experience. Ive failed many times. My most haunting one was tobacco. I was a big dipper back in my younger days so every New Years Eve I cast off that Skoal can, swearing I would never touch it again. Id sweat it out the next morning until, with much humiliation, I would dig the half-full can out of the trash and stick in another dip.
It was those failures that got me thinking about the hollow nature of resolutions tied to a certain date. If they are important enough to you, then why would you put them off for the mere sake of convenience? Myself, I just quit dipping one day and havent picked a can back up in 15 years. I havent the slightest what date it was when I finally kicked the habit. It had nothing to do with New Years but instead had everything to do with my health and not having bright yellow teeth.
Okay, Duane. Would you please focus on the title of your column? I can hear you saying in an annoyed tone. Youre rambling on about Skoal and AirPods. Enough with the rabbit trails.
Okay, there was one resolution from the scores that failed that actually stuck and still sticks to this day. On Dec. 31, 1999, myself and two friends walked into a gym and worked out. That evening, before we left, we made the combined resolution to continue working out from hence forward. Two of us were in the weight room Dec. 31, 2019, still working out. The third didnt make it through the entire work back in 1999.
So, since the last day of the millennium, Ive been true to the resolution. I hit the gym at least three times a week. In fact, its gotten to a point that I almost have to. If I miss much, I feel bad. Its almost like a legal drug at this point.
However, it was that resolution that led to the beginning of my follicle challenge. If youve met me, you know that Im getting a little light on top. Im balding. Hey, I used to have a head of hair past my shoulders back in the day.
Its called getting old, Duane, you say, shaking your head. Wear a hat.
I understand that Im prone to male pattern baldness since my father had it. However, I think I gave it a jump start due to my weight lifting. It all happened once evening, about three years into my resolution as I was in the gym doing military presses. For those who lift, this is the exercise where you are lifting a barbell above your head from either a seated or standing position. On this evening I was lifting a 100-pound barbell while at the same time talking to my workout partner who happened to be across the gym. During this conversation and as a piece of advice, dont talk while youre actively lifting I for some reason lost focus on what I was doing. Thats right, Duane lost focus. It was at that point that instead of letting the barbell safely miss my head, I accidentally let it smash atop my noggin. Thats right 100 pounds straight down, and yes, it did hurt.
At first I thought I would lose consciousness. It could have been a very dangerous incident. However, I sat down and watched the room spin a few times before reaching up to the crown of my head to feel a large knot forming. I rubbed it, gathered my senses and laughed it off.
However, in the weeks that followed, I started feeling a thinning at the site of the knot. The months that followed began an apparent thinning around the crown where the weights hit.
Youre getting a little thin up there, someone commented. Youre getting old.
I argued that the balding wasnt so much from age as from the injury. And yes, look it up. Scalp injuries can lead to spot baldness. Despite that fact, no one cared to believe me except my oldest son.
I only believe you because youve claimed thats what happened ever since I can remember, he admitted, scanning the bald spot that is quickly trying to merge with my male pattern baldness.
Anyway, that goes to show you that even when you defy all odds and can cling to a New Years resolution, there can always be a downside. My resolution for next year? Hair Club for Men.
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How a New Year's resolution made me go bald - Tullahoma News and Guardian
