A month ago, I invited you, my punderful readers, to submit your best original preys on words. Within hours, a punami of more than 50 original puns poured in, and by the deadline for submission, I swam in a torrent of more than 200. From start to finish, every day was Punday.
Such a response demonstrates that a good pun is its own reword. Heres a sample of the top puns. Ive posted a lot more on my website: http://www.verbivore.com. Lets get right to wit:
After my dinner date with Bo Derek, my cannibal co-workers at the electronics lab said, You know, that was attenuate. Erik Hanson, South Park
Letting those darned seals overpopulate down at the Childrens Pool really defeats the porpoise! Todd Hoover, La Jolla
What do you call a waffle at the beach? A Sandy Eggo. Bryant Berk, Normal Heights
The new movie with Harrison Ford about the love life of a misplaced garden tool is titled Ardors of the Lost Rake. Michael Punaro, Encinitas
Sometime in the late 1980s, I was covering the Masters golf tournament for the Union, sports columnist Barry Lorge at my side. As we worked on our stories, Barry suddenly asked, How do you spell cirrhosis? I answered, possibly correctly, and added, In these fast-paced, deadline-pressured circumstances, it can be helpful if you just stop to spell cirrhosis. Hank Wesch, La Mesa
Did you hear about the Boy Scout who started a business fixing broken car horns? He called it Beep Repaired. Patrick Elms, Carmel Valley
A donut baker bemoaning his girth lamented, I cant believe I ate the hole thing. I should cut down this roll around the middle. Linda Gross, Carlsbad
A mycologist wanted to add to her mushroom collection, but due to spore planning, it was such a sporgasbord, there wasnt mushroom for anything new. Claudia Lopez, Oceanside
A doctor insisted on stitching up his own wound. The nurse said, Suture self. Christopher Boyle, Glendale, Ariz.
What did one Neanderthal say to the other regarding a misunderstanding about the local flora? Him peach meant. Dawne Adam, National City
Whats the difference between me and garbage? Garbage gets taken out once a week. Mary Jo Crowley, Escondido
Did you hear about the swami who was in a fender bender? He was having an auto-body experience. Tim Hart, Carlsbad
Even though baseball players are on furlough, umpires are still working from home. Doug Miller, La Jolla
Why did the ghost win the pie-eating contest? Because he was the best at goblin it up. Lara Hardin, Escondido
Why didnt my husband go outside when he got dizzy? Because he didnt know vertigo. Vee Weaver Roebuck, Kearny Mesa
What do you call a one-of-a-kind trumpet? A unicorn (unique horn). John Silcox, Serra Mesa
I bird-proofed my home. Now its impeccable. Matt Strabone, North Park
Hurrying to get to the airport on time, Giovanni backed his Alfa Romeo out of his garage and drove over his suitcase containing his clothes. Anguished, he shouted, Mama mia! I have a flat attire! Howard Crabtree, Coronado
All this social distancing has given me an inferiority complex. Staying at home used to be enough, but now I have to go hide in abasement! Andy Tao, Los Alamitos
I attempted to eat a clock the other day. It was really time consuming. Carl P. Hennrich, Encinitas
Im a very skeptical person. The doctor recently told me that I needed a diet that was low in sodium. I took the advice with a grain of salt. Abraham Perez, San Ysidro
One mans meat is another mans poisson. Judith Leggett, Escondido
Why did the former vice president have to give up dancing? Because he couldnt find his Al Gore rhythm. Ren Halloran, Rancho Bernardo
When the HOV lane goes underground, it becomes a carpool tunnel. Peter Lawson, Carmel Mountain Ranch
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Jest for the pun of it, pun for all and all for pun! - The San Diego Union-Tribune
