Food brings people together. A great deal of bonding can happen over a pot of soup, but when one person wants chicken noodle while the other wants vegetable, it can turn into a food fight - and not of the John Belushi variety.
Couples expect the normal relationship woes - sex, money, respect - but with the growing prevalence of dietary restrictions and interfaith marriages, the kitchen is increasingly turning into an all out turf war.
This shouldn't be a surprise, says psychotherapist Karen Koenig - food is an "anything-but-simple subject."
"How we feed ourselves and each other says a great deal about how we feel about ourselves and our loved ones," says Koenig, who has written four books on eating and weight.
Dean Thompson, 41, of Austin, Texas, and his girlfriend, Amanda Abbott, 39, know the anything-but-simple nature of food all too well. Thompson is a vegan; Abbott is not.
"The first time I brought Dean over to my family's home for a meal and he just put salad on his plate, passing up most of the huge gourmet meal my father had cooked, I remember thinking this might be a problem," says Abbott.
"At first, I knew it was an issue, but did not notice or think of it as such a big issue," says Thompson. "Most people I was around did not eat like me, so it was not so 'weird' for me to be different in that way."
While the couple says there were always moments of contention, Abbott and Thompson said their culinary contingencies reached boiling point when their now 2-year-old daughter was born. They have since started counseling.
At the time, Abbott was struggling to produce enough breast milk for the baby and Thompson suggested they feed their daughter vegan-friendly almond milk.
"Dean did his due diligence in showing me some studies, and after a long discussion with our pediatrician, I surrendered," says Abbott, who admits she is a cheese lover and grew up on cow's milk. "This was extremely hard for me since most of our friends and family were in my ear with their opinions on how crazy it was to only give a growing child almond milk."
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Love is a cattle field: When diets divide relationships
