Internet commenters were outraged after one man shared a laundry list of complaints about his girlfriend's diet and weight with a popular online forum.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/unlucky_Revolution27 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) issued multiple negative opinions about his partner's body and expressed his concern with moving forward without dramatic intervention.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for encouraging my girlfriend to lose weight?" the since-deleted post received more than 6,000 upvotes and 3,500 comments in the last day.
"I'm 27 years old and have a girlfriend of [six] years who I live with," OP began. "She's about 19 [pounds] heavier than when we first met and on her 5'2" frame it definitely shows."
Continuing to explain that his girlfriend regularly consumes cannabis and recently "started eating like s**t," the original poster said he confronted her about her habits and convinced her to follow his strict diet and exercise plan.
The original poster also said that he "did everything to support her in losing weight," but lamented that his efforts were all for naught.
"I finally sat her down last month and said enough is enough," OP wrote. "I paid for an expensive supplement program, I woke up early in the morning and prepared her healthy lunches she could take to work.
"Today I borrowed her car and found fast food wrappers everywhere...she's been picking up fast food everyday," OP continued. "I confronted her and she started crying.
"[My girlfriend's sister] said I was being controlling and an a**hole. But from my perspective I simply just want her to be healthy," OP added. "We don't even have kids yet so to be gaining this type of weight so rapidly is definitely concerning to me."
Expressing concern, or any other sentiment, about a loved one's weight is a delicate matter that needs to be handled accordingly.
Whether addressing a dangerous weight gain or loss, leading mental health publication Psychology Today maintains that there is a right wayand a wrong wayto do so.
Unfortunately, the "wrong" way is far more common, and closely mirrors the methodology detailed within the viral Reddit post.
While compassion, empathy, love and respect are necessary when speaking with a loved one about their weight, clinical psychologist and Psychology Today contributor Jennifer Kromberg advises against many popular strategies including offering "helpful" weight-related tips, framing discussions around weight and closely monitoring food and exercise.
"Keep the discussion focused on health," Kromberg recommends. "Stick to speaking about your love and concern for him or her personally. Do not focus on how he or she canor shouldreach the goal."
Despite the original poster's repeated assertions that he is concerned for his girlfriend's health, Redditors responding to the viral post were quick to call out how he addressed those concerns and speculated that his uneasiness is rooted outside the realm of physical well-being.
"[You're the a**hole]," Redditor u/StAlvis wrote in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 22,000 upvotes. "You don't attack people who need to work on healthier eating habits.
"You have no reason to suspect she isn't [healthy]," they continued. "You're just concerned with how attractive she is to you."
Redditor u/andravens, whose comment has received nearly 10,000 upvotes, offered a similar response.
"Have you ever considered asking her what's driving her to eat and the need to smoke?" they questioned. "You're offering all sorts of support for the physical and nothing for the mental and emotional.
"If you only care about why she's gaining weight because of her looks and passing care for her physical health you need to take a step back and re-evaluate," they continued. "Drop the talk about weight loss."
"If you no longer want to be with your girlfriend because she's gained 19 [pounds], just go ahead and break up with her," another Redditor chimed in, receiving nearly 4,000 upvotes.
"You're just a controlling a**hole who clearly values some impossibly strict physical beauty standards over your actual relationship with your very human girlfriend," they added.
Link:
Man Slammed for Complaints Over Girlfriend's Diet and Weight: 'Controlling' - Newsweek
