Losing weight is never simple. This is especially true when you live with a chronic illness. Judgments and assumptions about your weight are often hurtful, but they can feel even more disheartening when your weight gain is due to a condition.
Perhaps a medication youre on makes it difficult to lose weight or makes you more susceptible to gaining weight. Maybe your illness makes you fatigued, making it near impossible to exercise. There are even some conditions where exercising or exerting yourself isnt recommended at all. Whatever your story might be, know that you are great at any size. While you shouldnt feel the need to change, its OK to not feel comfortable in your body, especially when your body changes because of chronic illness.
Unfortunately, thanks to weight stigma and the fact that many people still think its OK to body shame others, some people might make comments about your weight. They might suggest you eat healthier, exercise more or whatever else they think might work. No matter how good-intentioned these comments are, they can still be hurtful especially if the person making those comments is someone close to you.
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Sometimes comments about weight even border on dangerous. Despite the fact that body mass index or BMI is not a reliable indicator of health, medical professionals may fixate on your weight when you have a higher BMI. There are countless stories of people being misdiagnosed or prescribed weight losswhen weight wasnt the primary issue.
Its already hard to care for yourself when you live with chronic illness and these encounters can make it even tougher.To help educate others,we asked our community what they wish other people knew about weight and chronic illness.
Heres what our chronic illness community shared with us:
I wish doctors would be a little less critical and more compassionate when it comes to this. Marlena F.
Before I was sick, I was incredibly active. I was hyper. I wish people, especially doctors, would stop telling me exercise will help me, as if Ive been couch potato my entire life. [The illness] stopped me. Its too painful and if youre going to take away my pain medication, theres no way Im going to make myself suffer from unbearable pain just to make you happy. I dont enjoy being 60 pounds heavier than before I got sick. Angel H.
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[I wish people understood] that Im not lazy. My body doesnt respond well to many physical activities and causes much more pain than I already have. And if I do participate in a physical activity, I will pay for it for days or possibly weeks with additional pain and/or exhaustion. So, when I say I cant, I really cant. Nicole K.
I am not lazy. I beat myself up about it enough. I dont need you to make me feel like I only take up space. I try hard every day to be more active, but between the meds and the pain, I cannot seem to lose the weight. Rachael B.
Its not as simple as just getting more (or any) exercise when even the simple task of washing dishes leaves you in pain. My left hip and left lower back become pinched like theyre in a vice after about 10 minutes of standing. Megan F.
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I have PCOS. My insulin is really screwed up. I also have RA and fibromyalgia, so I see a pain management doctor every month. During every single appointment, without fail, he brings up my weight. Despite explaining my PCOS and insulin trouble multiple times, he still doesnt seem to get it. I know hes a pain management doctor, but I wish like hell he would do his research and actually understand whats going on with me. In fact, I wish all doctors were better informed about PCOS and its symptoms. If they were better informed, it wouldnt have taken 17 years for me to be properly diagnosed. Instead, doctors just constantly tear me down over my weight, not understanding that no matter how little I ate or how much I exercised, the weight never came off. I guess its easier to just fat-shame patients instead of actually helping them find the real problem. Its messed with my mental health and self-esteem for more than half of my lifetime. I also think its helped me develop medical PTSD. Im just so tired of being shamed for something I have zero control over. Chaylee B.
I dont spend my days eating fast food, chips, fancy coffee, Twinkies or any other stereotypically fat foods. In fact, I am likely far stricter with my intake than you are with yours. Vicki P.
I eat an incredibly healthy diet filled with low-fat food and exercise daily. However, with mood stabilizers, weight loss is nearly impossible. Megan S.
[I wish people knew] that their offhand comments and stares hurt. I know my weight isnt good. Im aware of my health more than the average person and I dont need negativity towards it as that doesnt solve anything. Shaming me will only mean Im not going to socialize with you and your group. Soon youll find yourself alone because no one was up to your standards. Weight is a symptom, like a lot of things, but society doesnt view it like that and it sucks. Erica W.
Moving beyond what is absolutely necessary is impossible. My calorie intake is extremely low. Im just fighting not to put on more weight after eight surgeries in six years. Four of them were major. I almost wish I looked as bad as I feel. Krista I.
Dont assume someones eating habits from their weight. I had problems with doctors doing this when I was at a point where I couldnt walk on my own for a few years. I was only eating 300-600 calories per day, 900 tops. They told me to cut my portions in half and to avoid water flavor packets and such due to the calories. My dad tried to tell them I ate the same portion size and meals as him, but what they would not listen to is that he was eating one meal per day and eating less than a third of what he was supposed to. They wouldnt listen to this because hes a bigger guy, [but he also has] chronic conditions. They did not even ask how often I ate or what I ate, just immediately told me to cut my portions in half and eat healthier foods. This has led to me having a very unhealthy relationship to food, but still unable to lose weight. Ellie S.
Before I was sick, my weight was so important to me. I taught spin classes, ate healthily and loved to shop till I dropped. Now, my body doesnt allow me to exercise, nor does it allow me to move around that much in general. I just want to feel good. When life hits you with a ton of bricks, your priorities change. Before you judge know my story, take the time to get to know me. Count your blessings and step outside yourself to lend a hand or hug. It would change my day, maybe my week! Leigh-Ann S.
I wish people would understand how much medication affects your weight. I eat less than anyone that I know and yet I still put on weight. I cant exercise because of my health problems, but people dont see that. They just see fat. I wish friends wouldnt talk about diets and weight loss around me. It makes me feel inadequate and completely obsessive about how I look. I avoid all photos and wont look in mirrors anymore. I hate the way I look. I wish I could wear a paper bag over my head. I feel hugely embarrassed about the way I look and theres not a thing I can do. Stephanie G.
Ive genuinely considered not taking a pill because it made me gain weight. Being pretty should not outweigh being healthy. Stephanie S.
Im on three medications that make me gain weight. Those medications stop my seizures, so Id rather be fat and seizure-free. Molly M.
My BMI is obese, but Im healthier now than I ever was when I was thin and not on medication. These medicines have saved my life. Tash B.
Because of fibromyalgia and thyroid imbalances, I will never be what they think is healthy. But that doesnt mean Im not the healthiest I can be under my circumstances. I probably know more about calorie counting, cardio and strength-building exercises than they ever will. And Im pretty damn proud of what I can do in spite of my chronic pain and diseases. Amy B.
My mobility device did not cause or contribute to my weight gain. My mobility device and my weight are caused by the same disease pattern. Abigail W.
Just because I look healthy, doesnt mean that I am. Ive developed a pretty severe intolerance to exercise recently, so every hectic or good day is followed by one in bed. I used to be so fit and active that its driving me insane! I desperately want to be able to run [and exercise], or get back out to the mountains, but I cant and its driving me mad. Nobody wants to be this way! Laura R.
Do you know how much Ive struggled? How much I wish I could pray away the fat, the disease, the pain? It hurts to be judged, to be seen as less than a person. I wish, oh I wish, that people would see with their hearts, not their eyes, and understand how hard it is for me to even be in public, how much it takes. I wish people saw past the lipedema and saw me. I am more than my fat. I am more than my disease. Courtney G.
[I wish people understood] how hard it is to look after kids and doing many other things whilst in constant pain. I frequently need a bit of a sugar rush to make it through and, no, a banana or some almonds wont kick in fast enough. Gabbie J.
Dont tell me about your husband, brother, nephew [who lost weight]. It is usually easier for males to lose weight [in general]. Bert M.
Eating healthy is not as easy as some make it out to be. It requires the ability to stand up and actually cook food and theres a lot that goes into that. Theres also no point in buying lots of fresh food when most of it goes out of date by the time Im well enough to cook anything. The weight didnt cause chronic illness; the chronic illness caused the weight. I wish I was well enough to cook well and exercise. This isnt a life choice. Its something that has been forced upon me. Not that its anyone elses business anyway Robyn E.
Its not for lack of trying. Ive done the stupid diets. Ive taken your pills and used your oils. Ive tried cardio and strength and yoga and the magic powder you shake on top of your food. Ive not eaten for four days and gained weight. Im trying my best to accept and love my body for the way it is now, but the people around me need to as well. Kai N.
I wish that people would not look at me and think only about my size. No, I dont eat a lot. Yes, some of my choices are bad. I probably think more about my food than you give me credit for. I want to be a normal person. Well, close to it. I want to do normal things. Go for walks, be able to go out and not worry where I have to park or worry that I cant go see the pretty waterfall in the state reserve. I try. I have tried and will keep trying again. Weight is not the main issue, however, it is the damage I have in my back, the fibromyalgia, the chronic pain that keeps me shuffling with my walking stick. You do not see me when I have done so much. I cant anymore. I can hardly hold a conversation because I walked too far at the zoo and I cant stand at the checkout with my partner because I pretended to be normal for a bit. Jaki F.
I wish people understood that Im still me. Im still a human being and I still want to feel loved. I shouldnt disgust you or make you love me less because I cant control what my body does. Im still me in here. Im just trapped in a body I cant stand any more than you can. Diana C.
Its significantly more difficult to maintain a healthy weight when chronically ill, both keeping weight on and keeping weight off. Many times, medications make the problems that much more difficult, or our illnesses make it near impossible to do anything about it. We should be compassionate about what all people are experiencing and stop judging people based on appearance. Every person is beautiful regardless of what they look like on the outside. We all need to be kinder to one another. Stephanie P.
My weight is nobodys business except mine and my doctors. Ones weight does not determine ones value as a person. Amy K.
If you are struggling with the emotions that come with weight fluctuations, reach out to someone you trust and let them know how you are feeling. Share this with the people in your life to show them that losing weight with chronic illness can be a struggle and that their comments, no matter how well-intentioned, still hurt. If you need support, theres a community here on The Mighty here for you.
Check out these Mighty articles for more insight on weight fluctuations when living with chronic illness:
What Are the Best Mental Health Therapies for Coping With Chronic Pain?
To the Mother Who Was Forever Changed By Chronic Illness
9 Things to Consider When Applying for a Job With Chronic Illness
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22 Things People Who Cant Lose Weight Due to Illness Want You to Know - Yahoo Lifestyle