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By: Millie Jackson
A few weeks ago, I was having a socially distanced visit with a friend. She quipped, Ive gained the Covid 19. Ill have to buy new clothes. I just shrugged. I knew that I had probably gained a few pounds during the time I have been at home, but I was no longer obsessing about it or particularly worried. I dont even own a scale anymore.
It hasnt always been the case. My weight has cycled up and down much of my life. My first diet was in junior high when I was considered chubby. I was rewarded with pretty clothes for losing weight. The message that thin was good and fat is bad had been reinforced and I learned it well.
The language of diet culture reinforces that we are supposed to hate our bodies, that we should be at war with fat, and that we should do anything possible to achieve an ideal that is not possible for many women. The $70 billion-dollar weight loss industry needs to feed us these messages to sustain itself. I have seen this language most of my life, but it has only been recently that I have really thought about what it is telling me.
At the beginning of the quarantine period there were many warnings about gaining weight while we were unable to live our normal lives, unable to exercise or go to the gym, unable to even go to the grocery store. Over the past few months I have read and seen many weight shaming postings and articles. There is really nothing new in the language, but I think it is more noticeable right now.
Weight can be a factor in health, but it isnt the only one. What it means to be healthy is multi-faceted and needs to take multiple factors into consideration. Reinforcing shame doesnt help anyone lose weight or improve their health.
I yo-yo dieted for decades, which was much more harmful to my health than maintaining a weight. A decade ago, I hit a high on the scale and looked for the most efficient way to make progress. What I found, a 1,000 calorie a day diet of bars and shakes, nearly destroyed my health and led to multiple injuries despite a 150 pound weight loss in a year.
I had done some crazy things before this Optifast, long term fasts, and the ever-present Weight Watchers, but nothing as drastic as that diet. Id like to claim that was my last diet, but it wasnt. But over the past decade I have been educating myself more about health and nutrition. Ive explored a number of the popular programs and diets. Some have benefits but some that appear positive send just as harmful of a message as the diet industry.
What I ultimately learned was that cooking real food, moving my body regularly through exercise that helped me rather than punished me, and not obsessing about a number on a scale served me better than any diet I had ever tried.
Over the past year I have settled into accepting and appreciating my body more. Im not always perfect and neither is it. It doesnt mean that I dont want to change some things but that isnt my constant focus. I have regained much of the weight I had lost because sustaining a 1,000 calorie a day diet along side a crazy exercise schedule is simply impossible. Im working on listening to my body more and what it needs. I have rediscovered exercise like walking which helps me move but also gets me outside more often.
Releasing much of the moral judgement about food and about my body has led me to be more content than I was when I focused on weighing, measuring and tracking every ounce of food I ate and every move I made. Losing weight was supposed to solve all my problems but in reality, it compounded some of my health problems. Rather than fight a battle with my body, I am now learning what matters to me being at peace with who I am right now.
Millie Jackson is a writer, coach, storyteller, and yoga teacher. You can learn more about her at http://www.millieljackson.com
Read this article:
The pandemic, body image, and what matters most - al.com
